Betty Crocker I Ain’t

I can’t bake. I cook. I can deal with something that I can mess with while it’s going from raw to done – adjust the heat, adjust the flavors. If it starts to go south, I can pull it back from the brink and usually unless I burn it I can save just about anything. But I can’t handle baking. You mix it up, put it in the oven and pray. There’s no, “I forgot the sugar” or is it getting too dark on the bottom. I just can’t handle it.

This is generally not too much of a problem for me as I’m as savory kind of guy. I can generally live without and should probably try to live without chocolate cake, cookies and brownies. But there’s always been one baked good that I really wish I could accomplish: bread. Unfortunately, my troubles with bread and all of it’s cousins - rolls, biscuits, pretzels, bagels, even pizza, go deeper than the fact that I can’t “set it and forget it” with any success, the problem begins before the oven, it begins with the dough.

I just have never been a heavy winner when it comes to dough. I mix it, let it rise (probably never long enough), knead it and promptly screw it up. Generally the result is over-worked dough or improperly rested dough or who-the-hell-knows what the problem is dough. What I do know is that once I stick it in the oven and and leave it there for the requisite amount of time it’s too tough, or too chewy (not in a good way), or too hard, or just plain bad. I’ve even bought store made pizza dough and had bad crusts as a result. Yes, I turn my oven up all the way and use a stone and stand on my head and every other thing I’m supposed to do to make good pizza at home.

But my friends, I am here to tell you about a revelation, an epiphany, something that has changed my life for ever – restored my confidence, helped me leap tall buildings in a single bound, made me a bread baker.

About a month ago we took a drive to visit some friends. It happened to be one of those drives that was long enough to let the kids watch a movie in the car. When that occurs we get the treat of listening to podcasts because with their headphones on, the kids don’t complain about our listening choices. We decide to listen to a back episode of Splendid Table and caught a segment with Zoe Francois and Jeff Hertzberg about their new book, Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day: The Discovery That Revolutionizes Home Baking. I was instantly intrigued. If I believed what they were telling me, all I had to do was follow their simple water, flour, salt, yeast no-knead recipe, mix up the dough (I didn’t even have to fire-up the KitchenAid) and after the initial rise, stick it in the fridge for up to two weeks and I could have perfect, fresh bread whenever I wanted!

When I got home, I found the recipe and made a shopping list: big bag of flour, yeast and a five quart container. I finally got the chance to mix up the dough a few days later (five minute job), let it rise (couple of hours), and stick it in the fridge.

Now I’m not always what you’d call conventional when it comes to recipes. I generally use them as suggestions instead of following them exactly, and a few days later when I needed some pizza dough for dinner I decided to give the new dough a try. After I let a lump sit out on the counter for about a half an hour I found that it was easy to work with, it stretched the way it was supposed to and cooperated well. I made the kids a pizza with no rest after I shaped the dough and it came out pretty good. Although I didn’t let the bottom get dark enough, the texture was near perfect – chewy, but not tough. I decided to shape our pizza and let it rest for an hour or so before baking it and that one came out even better, with lots of bubbles in the crust - the best!

A few days later I decided that not using the dough for bread was working out pretty well for me and since I needed some bagels and not bread, I thought I’d give it a try. I checked a few recipes online for bagel making technique instead actual dough recipes (after all, I already had the dough) and gave it a shot. Overall, the process was pretty easy and the dough proved again to be simple to work with. Not a five minute a day process to make bagels but considering I didn’t have to spend time making the dough it wasn’t too painful. They actually came out decent – the flavor was right but they weren’t quite dense enough for bagels, more like bagel-flavored rolls, but tasty none-the-less.

Finally, I was making Sunday dinner and needed bread! I worked for a few hours on some cioppino and figured a nice crusty bread would compliment it well. I followed the recipe directions fairly closely with the exception of shaping the dough into more of a batard than a boule, but other than that I stuck to script. The result was a revelation – crunchy outside; chewy, doughy (a little dense maybe) inside, with little effort. I had done it! I finally baked bread without screwing it up!

This dough has become the new standard around the house – we use it for bread, dinner rolls, pizza dough, you name it. We’ve been through about three batches in as many weeks and I’m starting to feel guilty for not buying the book yet. From what I understand, there’s more than the standard recipe in there and since I’m starting to feel kind of cocky I should give it a try.

Maine Street

I recently got a chance to visit my good friends Drew & Zsofi for a weekend in southern Maine. During my visit, Drew and I were lucky enough to cruise Route 1 from Kittery on the New Hampshire border up to Portland in search of some roadfood that gets right to the soul of Maine.

I understand that some call Maine the land that time forgot with its mix of period architecture alongside new construction that is regulated by zoning to match the original style of the quaint towns and villages. But I like to think of Maine as a state that understands what is important and respects tradition. Mainers don’t shun modernity, rather they uphold tradition while finding ways to adopt modern things that make sense. For instance, I saw way more solar panels on roofs of those quaint colonials than in any other place I’ve visited recently.

I think that this sense of tradition is what makes food in Maine great. Sure there are bistros and ethnic fusion restaurants aplenty especially in Portland, but there are also time-tested bastions of Maine’s food heritage around every corner whether it’s something that’s been around for fifty years or three hundred years. They don’t get rid of things that make sense, instead they cherish them and keep them alive. I wanted to try as much of this great food as I could in a weekend, so with friends in tow, we set off on a whirlwind roadfood tour.

Flo’s Steamed Hot Dogs

Rt. 1, Cape Neddick, ME

At the southern most point of our food tour sat a little old shack by the side of the road (yes I’ve got the B-52’s playing inside of my head) that is home to perhaps the most famous hot dog stand in Maine. Flo’s has been family-run and in business for over 50 years. They do one thing and do it right – steamed hot dogs. As evidenced by the trays of business cards and the ones stuck over the counter, this has been a must-try destination for visitors from around the country.

We tried two Flo Dogs, the house standard, which are steamed to order with sweet relish, mustard, mayonnaise, onions, celery salt and Flo’s signature hot sauce. The sauce from as near as I could tell seemed to be sweet relish mixed with chili powder and maybe some cayenne. The dogs were small and hand made with an excellent snap. Wrapped in a napkin and served on a steamed New England roll, these were outstanding dogs. All of the flavors blended together perfectly - sweet, sour, salty, savory – it was the whole package! Of course I needed a beverage to wash it down and as this was my first opportunity I had to try the beloved soda of Maine – Moxie! Warned in advance, the woman behind the counter looked at me and said “have you had it before?” I was slightly hesitant to try it. However when I took the first sip I was pleasantly surprised. It reminded me of a strong PA Dutch birch beer. What I didn’t expect was the slightly antiseptic aftertaste and slight numbness in my mouth and throat for a while afterward. I suspect that because of this medicinal quality Mainers don’t necessarily love it so much as are addicted to it. Overall, Moxie wasn’t too bad, but I don’t know if I’ll be ordering it over the internet.

Tempted as I was to eat five more Flo dogs, I knew I had to watch my intake if we were going to make it through the rest of our day so we got back in the car and moved up the road to:

Karen’s On A Roll

Rt. 1 Wells, ME

There are a lot of lobster roll stands dotting the roadsides of Maine. I can’t say that we chose Karen’s over the others for any particular reason. Drew seemed to think they’d been there for a long time – eighteen years as the owners told us when we inquired. Parked on a corner lot, they serve the standard roadside fare but lobster rolls seemed to be their specialty.

As I understand it, there are two ways to prepare a lobster roll: the standard – chunked lobster served with butter ladled over it on a grilled New England Roll, or chunked and mixed with mayo (ala tuna salad) served on aforementioned grilled roll. Guess there’s quite a debate about which is the proper or even acceptable way to prepare a lobster roll. Many say that the lobster salad approach is not correct. In either preparation anything less than hearty chunks of lobster meat are not acceptable.

I love mayonnaise and it has it’s place as a complement to many a thing, but I was hoping to get more of the pure lobster taste of the standard butter-only preparation. Alas, it was not to be, Karen’s serves the lobster salad version. That being said, what I got was really excellent. The roll was buttery and crisp and the lobster salad had the requisite large chunks of sweet lobster meat. All-in-all, if I didn’t know any different, I would have enjoyed the roll and never been the wiser. In any case, this is a great roadside stop that by rights has been in business for many years.

Maine Diner

Rt. 1 Wells, ME

Before we were too stuffed to move, we headed up the road a little ways for a bite of dessert. The Maine Diner is a southern Maine institution that just recently served its five-millionth customer. I wish I had an empty stomach to sample the breadth of their menu but we were there for one thing in particular – blueberry pie. From what I understand, the blueberries weren’t in yet so the pie must have been made from last summer’s frozen berries but that in no way diminished its flavor!

The local berries are small and sweet not like the larger Jersey berries that I’m used to. Those can sometimes be kind of tart when not quite at peak, but the Maine berries were sweet and flavorful. I opted not to have the pie heated and served ala mode since I figured ice cream was not part of the agenda for the day - I was here for the blueberries damnit. The pie had a firm but flaky crust and even at room temperature it was an excellent treat.

I got a chance to give the menu a quick look and some notable items included lobster benedict and lobster pie, a casserole of lobster and bread crumbs baked – as I understand it, this is their signature dish. Next time I return to Maine I’ll need to make the Maine Diner a full-course stop on my agenda!

Run of the Mill

100 Main St, Saco, ME

OK, so it’s not actually on Rt. 1 and truth-be-told we went to Run of the Mill for dinner the night before, but seeing as how it is geographically located at this spot in the tour I decided to put it here.

This year-old brew pub in a converted textile mill has got some great things to offer – daily soups made from house beer and cheese for one. On the night we visited I sampled the Jack & Dunkel, a Monterey Jack and dark beer soup that was outstanding. We also enjoyed locally harvested mussels steamed and served in a garlic butter sauce. A paddle of two ounce sample brews is available for tasting. Many were good and not too hoppy which is something I find with many craft brewed domestic beers. I quickly singled out their Bug Zapper Super Lager which had a hint of lemon and seemed extra fizzy – a great summer beer. Other notable menu items recommended by my hosts were the meatloaf and the beer marinated pot roast. Unfortunately I was too stuffed to take on either of these hearty choices.

$3 Dewey’s

Commercial St. (Rt. 1), Portland, ME

After a few hours of site-seeing we were back in the saddle for more roadfood. We’d finally hit Portland and couldn’t decide to have another run at a lobster roll (without mayo) or try something else. When we found a parking spot right up the street from $3 Dewey’s (right across from the ferry station) a beer sounded like a better idea. I figured maybe we’d have a couple and get a plate of steamers to share so we headed for a table in what passes for the dining room in this popular watering hole. There was a nice selection of summer brews highlighted and although I was tempted by my new summer standard, Leinenkugel’s Sunset Wheat, I reminded myself to stay on message and “eat Maine” so I took Drew’s recommendation and tried the Allagash White. A look at the menu verified that I could get clams but they’d be fried as no steamers were available so I decided to give the lobster chowder a try.

When the beers arrived I was happy to find out that the Allagash was great. Although it’s a Belgian-style white, to me it had a more decidedly hefeweizen flavor. The lobster chowder arrived and I have to say of all things I tried that weekend it was the most disappointing. I would best describe it as lobster flavored milk with lobster chunks floating with it. I quick grabbed the hot sauce and salt and pepper and went to work. The result was more flavorful and ultimately the chowder went down OK. Next time I think I’ll stick to beer and people watching if we hit this tavern again.

Sunday came and the weekend was drawing to a close but I had one stop left. I needed to grab a couple of lobsters to bring home for dinner. A quick trip to one of those great over-priced resort town general stores netted me two 1 1/2 lb lobsters to put on ice and rush home. Fast forward to Sunday evening in my kitchen and those guys went in the pot to steam. I always feel like it’s too much work and too much of a mess disemboweling my lobster at the table, so once I pulled them from the pot and showed them an ice water bath I got to work on disassembling them. Armed with a bowl full of lobster meat I thought to myself that I could finally get that buttered lobster roll – and it was great!

Thanks to Drew and Zsofi for a great trip!